Is divorce a scary word when you are dating? Are you worried that people will not want to date you now that you are divorced? Here are some opinions on whether or not being divorced is a turn-off when you’re looking for love.
It is if you’re not honest
Honesty is always the best policy. You can’t just pretend your divorce didn’t happen because your partner is bound to find out eventually! There is no need to go into too much detail. Just say that you grew apart and the relationship didn’t work out.
Everyone makes mistakes and a new date should accept that. Let your date know what you have learned from your previous relationship and how you will do things differently in the future.
No – it shows a willingness to commit
A lot of people are more turned off by dating someone who has had no long-term relationships than someone who has been through a divorce. At least you have proven that you want a long-term commitment and you are looking to settle down. You are used to sharing your life with someone else so you know how to compromise and make important life decisions.
Going through a divorce often means you will be a better spouse in the future as you have realised what you want out of a relationship and you don’t want to repeat your previous mistakes.
Yes – if you aren’t over your ex
One of the biggest dating turn-offs is hearing someone rant about their ex. Warning bells will start ringing for your date if it seems like you still have a volatile or unresolved relationship with your previous partner.
Don’t accept phone-calls from your ex when you are on a date, don’t go on about the breakdown of your marriage and don’t spend all night moaning about your him. Focus on your new partner and the future, not the past.
It can be if you have been married multiple times
Although most people aren’t bothered if someone has been divorced once, a lot are turned off if there have been multiple marriages. If you have been divorced more than once then it seems that you have not learned from your mistakes and you have got into a bad habit of rushing from one relationship to the next.
Take time out to think about what you really want from the future so that you can show potential dates that the next time you remarry it will be the last!
It is an important indicator of what you are like as a parent
Many people, when they are looking for a serious relationship, will be wondering what their partner will be like as a parent. If you are divorced then the way you treat and talk about your kids will be an important indicator to your date of whether or not you are worth keeping.
If you moan about child support or don’t seem to see your kids very often then your date will probably be turned off. But, if you talk about your children and show that they come first in your life then you are proving that you are a good parent and a good choice as a life-long partner.
The most important thing to do when you are dating after a divorce is to show your new partner that you have learned from your mistakes. Try to meet people who you are more compatible with so that your new relationship will be a lasting success. One way to do this is to try online dating.
For example, eHarmony, a dating site in the UK, allows you to fill out a personality questionnaire so you can be matched up with singles who you are more likely to connect with.
Make your dating experience as successful as possible by finding people who share your morals and values. For example, if you are of Caribbean heritage and your culture is very important to you then you should search for other singles who are interested in Caribbean dating.This is a guest post.