Its been almost 9 weeks since our accident and it has felt like the longest 9 weeks ever. I have run over this post in my head time and time again as I need to get my thoughts out as they keep whirling around in my head but I just can’t find the right way to say them or express what’s going on.
Firstly I want to come clean. I’ve run out of scheduled posts and the other posts are mostly guest posts or reviews which my little blogging fairy has been helping within the evening. I’ve just not been up to writing on my own, all the content is my thoughts just had a little help with it all! This one however is all my own from my clever little iPad app propped up on my sofa with pillows.
Also I would like to say thank you to all those messages of support over on our Facebook page. It’s been keeping me sane with our little talk of Christmas!
I’m getting there in myself, slowly.
Physically I’m starting to recover. I’ve got some neck movement back, the pain now is in the shoulder. It’s hard to explain the sensation in my shoulder other than imagine someone pressing on a bruise constantly and pulling the shoulder away from the body. It is so uncomfortable after using it that it took over 3 hours to write 30 Christmas cards and I suffered the pain the next day! Looks like another 6 or so sessions of physio to come though.
I know it will get better, it’s just going to take time.
Then I have emotional issues I need to deal with. Before the a accident I was a whirlwind, on the go constantly.
In fact I never stopped. It’s safe to say I probably suffered with OCD. If I’m going to do something, it had to be done well, on time and in an organised fashion. I can’t do with faffing around, it’s just not me. I find unorganised people hard to deal with!
However over the last 9 weeks I’ve had to adjust and in a big way. Any sort of order has gone i my life at the moment and its been hard, very hard.
I admitted to the doctor this week that I’m struggling. I’m struggling to sleep, struggling to keep my emotions in check, I’m short tempered, uptight and just struggling to find me. I hate being out and about or in crowded places and feel most comfortable surrounded by my family at home and I count myself lucky to have an amazing family. Daddyvswork has kept me going and looking after me!
I’m also frustrated, so frustrated at how I’m feeling.
Luckily for me the doctor was really understanding. She just sat with me going through how I was feeling, what I felt like and what our options are.
We’ve decided to try some anxiety tablets and councilling to deal with the cause of it all and hopefully in the next few months i’ll be back to my normal self.
For the moment though my little blogging fairy will be assisting me where I need a hand but this will be my place to clear my thoughts, I suppose a bit like my own therapy!